the study of marriage

Thursday, January 12, 2006


My husband snores. I probably snore too, but he rarely comments on it and it apparently never bothers him, if I do. However, his snoring does bother me, and has the power to prevent me from going to sleep, and the power to wake me up in the middle of the night.

Sometimes we have amusing conversations about his snoring, the kind of conversations where one of the people acts as if they are completely awake, but the things they say are so whacked-out, it's just not possible they are truly conscious.

Last night we had one of these conversations. I was awakened at about 12:30, probably by my sweetie's snoring. I (mostly) gently nudged his slumbering-on-back figure and said, "Hey, you're snoring, turn over." He responded indignantly, "I'm not snoring, I'm awake! And I just came to bed! Besides, turning over doesn't stop me from snoring." I just blinked at him, pushed on him again, and had my own indignant say: "I can't believe you're arguing with me about this! I know your snoring better than you do, and I know what works!" He turned over and stopped snoring long enough for me to get back to sleep.

Part of me knew that he was asleep, but his tone of voice was completely rational, even though what came out of his mouth was crazy talk.

He has suggested jokingly on more than one occasion that we may be heading toward the "two bedrooms for one married couple" lifestyle. But I'm not OK with that, in a big way. I hate that idea. It's important to me that we share one bed, our marriage bed. It's symbolic--a more important symbol to me, by far, than wedding rings--and it's cozy, and it's comfortable, and it's a place of peace for the two of us. It's one of the few places in our household that is completely NOT owned by our kids. ("Get the heck off my bed, NOW!") If no other long-term solution presents itself, I'll just deal with the occasional sleeping difficulty due to his snoring rather than sacrifice our marriage bed.

(Note: In a quick survey on the web, I wasn't able to find any reliable, verifiable statistical information on the number of married couples who don't share a bedroom. If anyone has some, please do pass it on.)


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